How I unexpectedly became a mother again at age 65 — Thanks to The Shul of New York!

In December 2022, I joined the Shul Justice Project. I learned that the Shul of New York was a member of SCRIC: the Synagogue Coalition on the Immigrant and Refugee Crisis which was formed to help refugees and asylum seekers adapt to life in NYC, so I signed up for their emails.

One day in April 2023, I received a SCRIC email that read in part:

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Hello all,

Did you ever read about the Afghan girls robotics team? Thanks to the assistance of many, these ‘Afghan Dreamers’ are slowly making their way out of Afghanistan to bright new futures. 

Two of the young women have recently arrived to the U.S. and are looking for a host in New York for the summer, before they head to college in the fall. Anyone that might be able to offer housing to one or both can contact me, and I would be happy to provide more details.

Warm regards,

X

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I grew up hearing stories about the Holocaust. I heard about non-Jews — Righteous Gentiles — who put their own lives at risk by hiding Jews in their homes. I always wondered: would I have had the bravery to do what they did? While I would only be risking some property damage or personal discomfort by opening my home to 2 strangers from a different culture for 3 months, the example of the Righteous Gentiles was on my mind.

I was also mindful of the commandment to welcome the stranger, which appears 36 times in the Torah. I was a 65-year-old divorced empty-nester living in a 2-bedroom, 2-bathroom apartment. I had the space and the assets to accommodate the girls. How could I disregard the commandment?

I decided to say yes. Soon after, I met the girls and their sponsor in person. All three were intelligent, poised, gracious and beautiful. They told me their story:

The girls were Elham Mansoory and Asefa Amini, then 19 and 20. They came from the town of Herat in Western Afghanistan near the Iran border. They had been members of the world renowned Afghan Women's Robotics team which was founded by the third woman in the room, their sponsor Roya Mahboob (Roya Mahboob: The World's 100 Most Influential People | TIME.com)

Roya’s dream was to teach STEM skills to Afghan women. She created the robotics team to promote that goal. Out of 500 girls who took the qualifying exam, Elham and Asefa were among a handful who passed the test. The team participated in robotics competitions around the world.  Trump intervenes to grant rejected Afghan girls entry to U.S. for robotics contest

Several movies were made about the team which came to be known as The Afghan Dreamers.

• ‘Rule Breakers’ Review: Afghanistan’s First Robotics Team

• Rule Breakers | Official Trailer | In Theaters Mar 7 | Angel Studios

• Afghan Dreamers - Watch Full Movie on Paramount Plus

When the US evacuated Afghanistan in 2021 and the Taliban returned to power, the team members feared they would be targeted by the Taliban because their activities were antithetical to the Taliban's beliefs about the proper roles for women.

Roya, working with contacts in the government of Qatar, arranged for members of the team — if they chose — to be airlifted out of Afghanistan and into Qatar’s Education City. (Explore Qatar's Education City)

Both Elham and Asefa – then 17 and 18 respectively – made the painful and courageous decision to leave behind everything that was familiar to them for the sake of pursuing their education. They hoped eventually to return to a future post-Taliban Afghanistan armed with sufficient knowledge to improve the lives of Afghan girls.

They spent the next two years completing their high school education in Qatar. Classes were taught in English, a language they barely knew but are now fluent in. In 2023, they were awarded full scholarships to attend universities in the United States funded by the Qatari Foundation. Elham chose Arizona State University and Asefa the University of Nevada at Las Vegas.

During the summer of 2023, having received their high school diplomas, they left Qatar for NYC. On Memorial Day, they moved into my son’s former bedroom. We proceeded to get to know each other.

In many respects the girls were no different from their American contemporaries. They took lots of selfies, watched reality TV shows, listened to music on YouTube, tried beauty products they heard about on TikTok, followed fashion, and used Instagram avidly.

On the other hand, they had tremendous pride in their native culture and Muslim traditions and wanted to share them with me. They taught me a few words in Darsi (Afghan Persian): noosh jan (bon appetite), areh (yes) and tashakur (thank you.). They fed me amazing dishes such as tadig (rice with crust), aush (hearty soup) and kuku sabzi (herb frittata). We watched Turkey’s equivalent of the reality TV show Love Island (I was riveted even though I could only understand 3 words!) and we listened to iconic Iranian pop singer Googoosh and traditional Afghan music. I became immersed in a culture from the other side of the globe without ever leaving my sofa.

By the end of the summer, I had come to think of them as my adoptive daughters. Instead of shipping them off to their respective colleges, I got on the plane with them and helped them settle into their dorm rooms before flying back to New York. We had already agreed that they would return the following summer, and the summer after that, and the summer of 2025.

The story takes a bittersweet turn here. The sweet part is that my 27 year old son moved back to New York after spending 4 years in Denver. He is living with me while he finishes his bachelor’s degree. The bitter part is that I am not able to host Elham and Asefa this summer.

If anyone reading this knows anyone who could open their homes to these two wonderful women this summer, please reach out!  I can promise your lives will be immeasurably enriched by the experience.

I never expected to become a parent again at age 65, but I am so glad I did and I owe it all to The Shul of New York!

~Susan Levy