Sometimes the Best of Intentions Can Go Awry

Our Passover/Easter meal was a success. The food was good, we all laughed a lot; did I mention that my daughter and her friends are comedy writers? Surprisingly, other than the occasional one-off remark, politics and religion were not discussed. Afterwards we took a walk and my sister, Linda, and her  boyfriend, Jeff, slept over. Our evening was quiet; we watched Season 1, Episode 1 of Call the Midwife. In fact, the day was all so uneventful, I feared I would have nothing to say in this follow-up to my last post. Little did I know!

It’s 8:30 a.m. the morning after. Linda and Jeff are ready to leave, their coats and hats on, suitcases by the door. Out of the blue, my husband makes a political remark and Linda replies “No comment” which I interpret to mean: she does not agree with him, which I further interpret to mean: she stands for everything I do not. The argument among the four of us is swift but severe. A promise we had made “not to discuss politics” and had solemnly kept for 8 years was now broken into pieces. They leave our home bruised and sad; we stay behind, broken and angry. Later in the day, we make our apologies, but the hurt is still there on both sides.

There are two ironies to this story:

Irony 1: That promise made in 2017 was caused by an intense argument Linda and I had after a lovely weekend at her house, as I was heading out the door, suitcases and husband in the car, engine running.

Moral: Beware the goodbye hugs; they can be deadly.

Irony 2: I‘ve been asked to attend an exchange weekend in Jackson, MS sponsored by Braver Angels, an organization with the mission to improve communications between the left and right. I’ve observed that some of the small group of attendees flying to MS from NYC with me react quite angrily when discussing their political views, which is not the Braver Angels way. I’ve actually been hesitant to go, as I do not want to be part of what may become an angry free-for-all. Then I mused, “being a calm and totally rational person, my presence might be a stabilizing influence to the group”. Unfortunately, my argument with Linda has proven that I can be as irrational and angry as the next person.

Moral: Pride goeth before a fall. 

So ... I’m off to Mississippi and I hope this awareness will help me do better in Jackson than at home. Stay tuned.

~Anne Silverman